mistake(s)

I KNOW YOU HATE THE TASTE OF YOUR PRIDE, but you have to swallow it - it’s only polite. Here on the table across from you, close to your heart. It’s all about the heart. Don’t think too much when you admit wrongdoing; we are all carrying the sins of Eve and Adam. It is only natural to make mistakes. This is how we were made.

Don’t burn your tongue, love. Or do - maybe the pain will bring you back to. Maybe it should. Always such an urge to go. The plastic of shoes heating up from the sun-kissed concrete, hot air burning into the soles of your feet. Statue. Kryptonite. Move! You hold things and they explode. Sun. Run. You can’t want to be right all the time, you’ll just get it wrong.

Eat. And your spine will heave. Like a branch breaking off - is the dead weight finally dying?

HUMANITY IS CONTRADICTORY. We are animals who can love and hate simultaneously: the closest to us are also, somehow, subconscious enemies. I love you and I hate me. The more you care for someone the more their image lights itself into a mirror. Is that you? In the reflection? Is it me, is it us? The red-brown hue of rot spilling out of skin, oozing out of eye sockets?

Akh! My love keeps me rooted here in the garden that is us. You are so bad at everything - tripping and falling - we are so bad at being alive. Is anyone better? Well. Here I am. I have to be. I can’t leave. Witnessing my truest self is only possible because I love you this deeply. My love for you is ruining the image of me. I’m wearing glasses, finally - I can see everything.

Tell me about your sins, and I will lie about my own. I hate you, don’t leave me. Your breath becomes mine in the dead of night. Your voice cackled with laughter, later. I love you, please leave me. Sprinkling kisses onto your skin; in a past life I made sure you brought all those freckles into this reincarnation. I’ll send you to your next with more.

Mirror, mirror. I love your flaws, but not when they’re mine. I hate when you see them. Don't look at me, I can’t stand her.

Confession! Forgive me, lover, for I have sinned.

I am sorry.

Fingers unclench. Dream about blood and running. Mudslide. Wake up and break. It feels like growth. It’s all so clean with you. I kiss your forehead, your sweat tastes salty-sweet, just like forgiveness.