20 Comments
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Jack Render's avatar

Amal, you're so good. Maybe, just maybe, what you should do is start being a writer. I mean, writing books and trying to get publishers to print them or printing them yourself. I'm not convinced the MFA offers you anything (other than another certificate), but you could at least put the waiting list in perspective if you were moving ahead with your real plan.

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

The waitlist honestly cemented that I'm a pretty good applicant! So I agree that being a writer is what I should focus on. It's just hard to get going

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Jack Render's avatar

Applicant schmapplicant, what you want to be is a writer, and you are a GREAT writer. And yes, of course you were a good applicant and would be fine in any mfa program, but you’re already holding the ticket to where you want to go. In my opinion, of course!

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

This means so much to me :") You always give me the push I need

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Jack Render's avatar

I’m not your number one fan for nothing, but I never flatter - I always mean what I say.

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aarcha's avatar

Oh my god, Amal! This found me exactly at the right time while I'm going through something very similar yet very different. Thank you so much for sharing your words with us. You are a truly gifted, excellent writer!!!! Always looking forward to your words, much love 💕

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

Aaa, thank you so so much. I am so glad it found you when you needed it. Sending you so so much love <3

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Paula's avatar

SAAAAAAMMMEEEEE just switch Arab to Latina, Jordan to Guatemala, and MFA to PhD. And every single thought Ive had is perfectly written here. Im gonna cry

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

It means so much to me that you resonated :”) I am sending you infinite hugs and love, we’ve got this!!!! <3

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Isha Agrawal's avatar

I feel like this came straight from the depths of my heart. Thank you for sharing this.

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

Thank you so much for reading :") I am so glad you resonated

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ash's avatar

amal, this reads so good. i felt as though i was reading an actual fictional story and not, yk. whenever you mentioned that youve known that you've always wanted to write or writing is something you cant leave behind i resonated so deeply, and ive just looked into MFA and i have no idea what i want to do in life, maybe this will help?? career stuff is always so influenced by how much many i would make and not what i would want to do (as per my parents) and god its frustrating.

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

Thank you so so much! Honestly, researching (and applying) to MFAs taught me so much about what I want in the future and what options are out there for me. It would definitely help you in some way, if anything at least it could give you clarity. I agree career stuff is so overwhelming - it's been eating me alive, and in the process of applying to MFAs I realized that all I ever wanted to do was create, that I didn't care about the money or the achievements: just wanted enough to survive and write. I lost that for a while. But I think it's back.

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ash's avatar

at this point a little clarity to what i want to do in life would be a godsend. tysmmm

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Kaija Strong's avatar

Feeling the same things right now. Know you're not alone (which maybe makes it suck more?? who knows?)

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

It makes it suck less, but it's a bittersweet feeling. I hope you find that peace we're all looking for... thank you so much for reading ❤️

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cancerous's avatar

i imagine it might be strange or even a little concerning to hear this said about your writing, but i truly mean it when i say your words feel deeply relatable and even motivational at times to an arab girl broaching her twenties. i saw the fierceness masked behind the softness you showed us. maybe it was my own fear of change or societal expectations that made it stand out so clearly, but the way you hold your ground in the ugly face of judgment and the passive-aggressiveness of our culture, while continuing to achieve, is honestly inspirational. i hope to be able to achieve as much (yes, as *much*) as you have thus far.

and even now in the thick of uncertainty and self discovery, you’re still carving out *something*, whatever it may be. figuring things out doesn’t take away from how far you’ve come or the strength it’s taken to get here. i hope you give yourself the same kindness and love you give the world so freely. 💗

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

Wow. This comment is one that I will think about for such a long time. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece and write this response, because in a way you've given me a reason to keep going. You saying that I "hold my ground in the ugly face of judgement and the passive-aggressiveness of our culture" feels... incredibly meaningful to me. I mean sometimes we really don't see our strength until someone points it out. So thank you for seeing my strength in me - I needed it.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am pretty much speechless. Sending you so much love ❤️

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𝓐fra 𝓜asud's avatar

Amal, just know you're not alone. I know exactly how you feel, because I'm experiencing a huge wave of depression, self decision and self discovery.

I just want you to know that you're brave and strong and that its okay if you don't know where you're going right now and what you want. Just keep doing the things you love and it will find you.

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Amal Kiswani's avatar

Afra, thank you for this. It softens my heart to know that we are not alone in our feelings. I wish you were not experiencing depression, but there is something that makes my load lighter knowing I'm not on my own in this journey, but that someone somewhere understands me somehow.

Sending you so much love ❤️

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