welcome back, Amal!! I teared up a little at the story of your cats. I can't imagine how achy it must've been to lose one of your babies like that. </3 but I also really really resonate with the perfectionism sneaking in with the sub count. for a while there I stopped writing because I felt so intimidated by my own. I also have a past of being a roleplayer (got me so excited to witness this parallel) and I feel like writing with others made me a better writer, too. thank you for sharing your story with us. it definitely feels like I know you a little more personally now. your writing is delicately beautiful.
Mei, thank you for leaving this lovely comment :') It's so funny because you really want to gain subs and then when they start coming in, you panic a bit. I also took a month long break in January! It's always good to take breaks.
Fellow role-player! I honestly thought I may be the only one. I know everyone loved writing fanfic, but never heard much about the role-playing! It was so fun to collaborate with other writers in that way... no pre-planned plots, but just throwing ideas at another and seeing what they do with it. I wonder if there is a way to bring that back somehow, and build a story or piece with another creator. You know those Instagram videos of dates where they pass back and forth a painting? Hmmm... that would be so much fun if we could imitate it with writing.
Roleplaying was a huge part of my online past. I've experienced some really great friendships and great loves via roleplaying so it has a special place in my heart :,,) but often feels a bit too eccentric to share with the masses (and thus, why I wanted to share it with you). I love that writing, for most of us is a form of devotion. one that keeps on giving when shared. so I love that idea! in fact, I'd started doing that with a fellow substacker but unfortunately, it never really took off. I'm definitely interested in co-creation and am forever a big fan of collaboration. I don't really like "competing" with people. it's so much more fun to just let go and engage in mutual play~ <3
"For most of us it's a form of devotion." Wow. Beautiful.
I know exactly what you mean by eccentric and hard to share, I feel the same, but I can't help but keep coming back to the idea. I find it so fun - just like you described it, like a form of play - choosing a character and co-creating something weird and interesting. It teaches you so much about storybuilding. I am so glad I met a fellow roleplayer haha. I wish I could get back into it somehow.
I have joined a sort of poetry group and sometimes we pass around a paper and each write one line, and see where it goes from there. I think that's such a fun thing to do. It reminds me a lot of roleplaying, how you have to think quick and match another persons vibe. I would recommend it with a group of friends! We really should take off the pressure from always writing something important and beautiful, and just do it for the fun of it.
I do like the original and current title. But was "Poetic License" really so bad people unsubscribed? I'm here because you're a great writer, poetry and prose. The love is there in everything you write.
I'm usually a little wary of the parasocial. Aside from the weird closeness/distance of the online space, I've known enough artists irl to understand how grossly unfair it is to expect everything they do to be beautiful or interesting or challenging. They (you) give us their (your) art, and that is way, way, more than enough. Give them whatever privacy they need and allow them their dull moments and regrettable lapses, as unobserved as they wish to be.
But - you've convinced me, connection is so important. And you _are_ appreciated, and sometimes that little red heart is just not enough. So - hello, penpal. You might hear from me, from time to time. But mostly, I want to listen.
Jaime! What a thoughtful comment and I truly appreciate you leaving these words, especially since you are way of the parasocial-ness of it all. That means so much to me :") First of all, thank you for saying there is love in everything I write. I mean, honestly, everything you've left for me here has made my heart flutter and I wish I got to it earlier! Hello, penpal, and welcome! I am so grateful you are here with me, and that you've reminded me there are quiet readers, too, and that is especially important to keep in mind.
Poetic License didn't = people unsibscribing, actually. Or, really, I'm not entirely sure because my sub count kind of goes down and up regularly, and that wasn't what truly bothered me. I actually just felt the difference in the *connections*. There were less comments and interactions, which I love a lot - you know, dopamine - and, on a technical level, less open rates. I actually came to this conclusion when I was on Instagram the other day and realized I was following someone I didn't know. Maybe accidentally. And I thought: Maybe this is how people feel about Poetic License. A random name they don't really recall in their inbox. And I thought: that's a bit of a disservice. I don't know. I'm ranting here.
Of course, I have learned not to look at numbers and "rates" and for the past few weeks have only logged onto Substack to write and post and occasionally read something that catches my attention. It truly is turning into social media, and like you say, the parasocial isn't... honest, either. We all love Substack because it feels intimate, but it can still be exhausting like Instagram or Twitter. I got most interactions because I was so active here, but that bled out when I realized that... social media in general just fills me with a lot of dread. I was performing, in a way. And I didn't like that.
But most importantly. Poetic License just didn't ever settle in my gut. It took me months to come up with something I liked, but eventually, maybe the "less conversion rates" was just an excuse for me to go back to what I was comfortable with.
Sorry for the long response! Jaime, seriously, thank you for being here to listen. It means so much to me. All my love to you!!!!!
nice go meet you, amal. as a fellow cat mom, i have an extra softness in my heart for you now. your writing is so….beautiful and intriguing. it flows and captures me
Hello makha, it's so nice to meet you too! Cat moms for the win! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I'm excited to read your words :') I know they will capture me as well. Much love,
welcome back, Amal!! I teared up a little at the story of your cats. I can't imagine how achy it must've been to lose one of your babies like that. </3 but I also really really resonate with the perfectionism sneaking in with the sub count. for a while there I stopped writing because I felt so intimidated by my own. I also have a past of being a roleplayer (got me so excited to witness this parallel) and I feel like writing with others made me a better writer, too. thank you for sharing your story with us. it definitely feels like I know you a little more personally now. your writing is delicately beautiful.
Mei, thank you for leaving this lovely comment :') It's so funny because you really want to gain subs and then when they start coming in, you panic a bit. I also took a month long break in January! It's always good to take breaks.
Fellow role-player! I honestly thought I may be the only one. I know everyone loved writing fanfic, but never heard much about the role-playing! It was so fun to collaborate with other writers in that way... no pre-planned plots, but just throwing ideas at another and seeing what they do with it. I wonder if there is a way to bring that back somehow, and build a story or piece with another creator. You know those Instagram videos of dates where they pass back and forth a painting? Hmmm... that would be so much fun if we could imitate it with writing.
So much love to you <3
Roleplaying was a huge part of my online past. I've experienced some really great friendships and great loves via roleplaying so it has a special place in my heart :,,) but often feels a bit too eccentric to share with the masses (and thus, why I wanted to share it with you). I love that writing, for most of us is a form of devotion. one that keeps on giving when shared. so I love that idea! in fact, I'd started doing that with a fellow substacker but unfortunately, it never really took off. I'm definitely interested in co-creation and am forever a big fan of collaboration. I don't really like "competing" with people. it's so much more fun to just let go and engage in mutual play~ <3
"For most of us it's a form of devotion." Wow. Beautiful.
I know exactly what you mean by eccentric and hard to share, I feel the same, but I can't help but keep coming back to the idea. I find it so fun - just like you described it, like a form of play - choosing a character and co-creating something weird and interesting. It teaches you so much about storybuilding. I am so glad I met a fellow roleplayer haha. I wish I could get back into it somehow.
I have joined a sort of poetry group and sometimes we pass around a paper and each write one line, and see where it goes from there. I think that's such a fun thing to do. It reminds me a lot of roleplaying, how you have to think quick and match another persons vibe. I would recommend it with a group of friends! We really should take off the pressure from always writing something important and beautiful, and just do it for the fun of it.
amal, the way you address us as readers just feels so sweet and sincere. this was such a heartfelt post i enjoyed it so much <3
That means so much to me and that’s always the goal. Thank you so much for reading. :”)
oh my goodness I LOVED this so much. I love that you're a cat parent too and I'm so glad you're sharing yourself with us <33
Ahh Freya! Thank you so much! Cat moms unite ^.^
I do like the original and current title. But was "Poetic License" really so bad people unsubscribed? I'm here because you're a great writer, poetry and prose. The love is there in everything you write.
I'm usually a little wary of the parasocial. Aside from the weird closeness/distance of the online space, I've known enough artists irl to understand how grossly unfair it is to expect everything they do to be beautiful or interesting or challenging. They (you) give us their (your) art, and that is way, way, more than enough. Give them whatever privacy they need and allow them their dull moments and regrettable lapses, as unobserved as they wish to be.
But - you've convinced me, connection is so important. And you _are_ appreciated, and sometimes that little red heart is just not enough. So - hello, penpal. You might hear from me, from time to time. But mostly, I want to listen.
Jaime! What a thoughtful comment and I truly appreciate you leaving these words, especially since you are way of the parasocial-ness of it all. That means so much to me :") First of all, thank you for saying there is love in everything I write. I mean, honestly, everything you've left for me here has made my heart flutter and I wish I got to it earlier! Hello, penpal, and welcome! I am so grateful you are here with me, and that you've reminded me there are quiet readers, too, and that is especially important to keep in mind.
Poetic License didn't = people unsibscribing, actually. Or, really, I'm not entirely sure because my sub count kind of goes down and up regularly, and that wasn't what truly bothered me. I actually just felt the difference in the *connections*. There were less comments and interactions, which I love a lot - you know, dopamine - and, on a technical level, less open rates. I actually came to this conclusion when I was on Instagram the other day and realized I was following someone I didn't know. Maybe accidentally. And I thought: Maybe this is how people feel about Poetic License. A random name they don't really recall in their inbox. And I thought: that's a bit of a disservice. I don't know. I'm ranting here.
Of course, I have learned not to look at numbers and "rates" and for the past few weeks have only logged onto Substack to write and post and occasionally read something that catches my attention. It truly is turning into social media, and like you say, the parasocial isn't... honest, either. We all love Substack because it feels intimate, but it can still be exhausting like Instagram or Twitter. I got most interactions because I was so active here, but that bled out when I realized that... social media in general just fills me with a lot of dread. I was performing, in a way. And I didn't like that.
But most importantly. Poetic License just didn't ever settle in my gut. It took me months to come up with something I liked, but eventually, maybe the "less conversion rates" was just an excuse for me to go back to what I was comfortable with.
Sorry for the long response! Jaime, seriously, thank you for being here to listen. It means so much to me. All my love to you!!!!!
nice go meet you, amal. as a fellow cat mom, i have an extra softness in my heart for you now. your writing is so….beautiful and intriguing. it flows and captures me
Hello makha, it's so nice to meet you too! Cat moms for the win! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I'm excited to read your words :') I know they will capture me as well. Much love,
A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Keep doing you. You are amazing 👏
Thank you so much for being here, Muna! You share my aunts name so now I have a soft spot for you :') Much love, always!
By whatever name, to know is definitely to love. Another great post.
Thank you, Jack! I always love receiving your comments :') <3
omg, your fur babies are too cute 🥹