This is really beautiful and captures the feelings of helplessness so well. Something that helps me sometimes is stepping out of myself and being present in nature when I feel like a stranger to myself.
Thank you for your comment, Isabella <3 Honestly I haven’t taken one of my usual walks in nature in a while, and they usually keep me grounded. Going to prioritize going for a walk today, thank you! <3
Gosh this is absolutely stunning. You hold the words so gently but use them so powerfully it genuinely takes my breath away. This is my favourite recent post on Substack, it’s so beautiful and so relatable. <3333
Thank you so much Freya. This means a lot coming from you! The way you said “you hold the words so gently but use them so powerfully” made my day, I think that’s exactly what I try to achieve with my work. So much love to you <3
this is so beautiful. i read it during a class earlier today, and kept turning it over in my mind. "it is nothing but a feast of the self." absolutely insane, i know i'll come back to these words so often
genuinely this might be my favorite piece of yours yet. so so so so incredible, so vulnerable, i loved the repetition of certain metaphors throughout.. read this during my lunch break and this was tastier than what i ate.
"I dance as though a camera is pointed at me. I write like someone’s watching through the window. I read because I am supposed to." followed immediately by "I am feeling so much, my reader, that it’s becoming nothing." was SO impactful !! the little nod to the audience, the breaking of the fourth wall, it made the whole idea of being watched so much more.
"all of which is synonymous with I am a writer", "Nothing is reaching for my heart.", "It is nothing but a feast of the self.", "I pull her heart out of her chest and set it on the table." gorgeous lines.
And "I like taking, sure, but most importantly I like being given to. Set me a table. Allow me to feast." just so so so powerful. so much imagery behind it. LOVED this one.
Thank you so so much! <3 :’) It’s so interesting to see that the words were felt by you all because I was pretty worried that it was all nonsensical haha
On religion: highly recommend you to read Psalms 8 just online, one of my favourite Psalms. Not trying to preach to you or anything as I don’t feel I’ve the right to that but as a piece of poetry and writing it is simply gorgeous!
I related to all of this... beautifully written. We're all so obsessed with ourselves and our work and honestly, is that really a bad thing?? You are seen because we see ourselves in you and what a special thing that we are all kind of the same <3
This is so so real. I consider myself a person who never stops thinking. I always have something to do, journal, watching documentaries or movies or shows, listening to music, etc. But there have been times when I've felt completely empty. Not feeling like doing anything but sit on mh bed and go through my favourites on tiktok. Maybe play stardew valley. And I understand this feeling so well of just feeling so lost and helpless but also wanting to write something. But honestly believe me, the things you write in these slumps are never from heart. And I think for writing, that's one thr key factors. You're an incredible writer, this is really good too. I've read your posts and I've loved every one of them. But everyone falls into slumps. Don't feel ashamed about that. I think you shouldn't force yourself to write something, instead, do other things. Drink some tea and watch that show your friend recommended 78 times. Rewatch a Disney movie or those movie series (Hunger Games, Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc). Read through your favourite substackers posts, scroll on Pinterest and make a board for yourself, etc etc. I've found that just letting myself relax and not worry about if I'm writing or not, helps me write. Sparks of inspiration are everywhere if you focus. And I think putting a schedule for yourself can really help you and also might not. I never give myseld deadlines because I tend to do sloppy work if I do. But some of my friends do work more efficiently under deadlines, it really just depends on how you work. Either way, Amal, you're a great writer (Mashallah) and no amount of slumps and feeling uninspired can change that. Me and other people don't expect you to give us 7 posts every 3 days and we're happy to wait. Good things take time, and there's no shame in taking your time and letting the ideas come to you. This was amazing as usual, very relatable and well written. I'm wishing you well and I'm SO excited for that interview! It sounds so fun. ♡
Mahi, you know how close to my heart I hold your words… thank you for reading and commenting and leaving me this amazing concoction of advice. The overthinking is a double-edged sword for sure. I think that overthinking had led to a lot of my great ideas but for the most part it’s an exhausting ritual, so I try to balance things. I have been journaling more often, and it is definitely helpful! Creatively relaxing is important for the soul. I have to learn that.
“Nothing is hooking me, lately, so I’ve gone inwards. I stare at my reflection for hours, I re-read my poetry, I edit my words. It is nothing but a feast of the self. I have nothing else to do. I want to be perfect”
You say you feel like you’ve forgotten English but yet you still manage to produce something as richly sophisticated yet skilfully unostentatious (not at all overwrought) as this. You’re so good at this, Amal. Your writing is something for a reader to bury themselves in, collapse in thankfulness. Thank you.
I will never tire of ouroboros as a metaphor… this was everything <3
Same… thank you for reading <3
This is really beautiful and captures the feelings of helplessness so well. Something that helps me sometimes is stepping out of myself and being present in nature when I feel like a stranger to myself.
Thank you for your comment, Isabella <3 Honestly I haven’t taken one of my usual walks in nature in a while, and they usually keep me grounded. Going to prioritize going for a walk today, thank you! <3
I love taking walks!! Honestly this was one of my favorite pieces I've read in a while. I hope you feel a little better after your walk!!<3
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. :')
Gosh this is absolutely stunning. You hold the words so gently but use them so powerfully it genuinely takes my breath away. This is my favourite recent post on Substack, it’s so beautiful and so relatable. <3333
Thank you so much Freya. This means a lot coming from you! The way you said “you hold the words so gently but use them so powerfully” made my day, I think that’s exactly what I try to achieve with my work. So much love to you <3
this is so beautiful. i read it during a class earlier today, and kept turning it over in my mind. "it is nothing but a feast of the self." absolutely insane, i know i'll come back to these words so often
thank you so much… <3 :’)
genuinely this might be my favorite piece of yours yet. so so so so incredible, so vulnerable, i loved the repetition of certain metaphors throughout.. read this during my lunch break and this was tastier than what i ate.
"I dance as though a camera is pointed at me. I write like someone’s watching through the window. I read because I am supposed to." followed immediately by "I am feeling so much, my reader, that it’s becoming nothing." was SO impactful !! the little nod to the audience, the breaking of the fourth wall, it made the whole idea of being watched so much more.
"all of which is synonymous with I am a writer", "Nothing is reaching for my heart.", "It is nothing but a feast of the self.", "I pull her heart out of her chest and set it on the table." gorgeous lines.
And "I like taking, sure, but most importantly I like being given to. Set me a table. Allow me to feast." just so so so powerful. so much imagery behind it. LOVED this one.
Thank you so so much! <3 :’) It’s so interesting to see that the words were felt by you all because I was pretty worried that it was all nonsensical haha
This is so real and beautiful!!
Thank you so much <3
On religion: highly recommend you to read Psalms 8 just online, one of my favourite Psalms. Not trying to preach to you or anything as I don’t feel I’ve the right to that but as a piece of poetry and writing it is simply gorgeous!
Perhaps it can be a source of inspiration, something we writers are always seeking :’)
Thank you for reading! I will definitely look it up, I’ve actually been meaning to read the bible.
I related to all of this... beautifully written. We're all so obsessed with ourselves and our work and honestly, is that really a bad thing?? You are seen because we see ourselves in you and what a special thing that we are all kind of the same <3
It really is so beautiful that we are all kind of the same. <3 Thank you so much for reading
love this
love u
This is so so real. I consider myself a person who never stops thinking. I always have something to do, journal, watching documentaries or movies or shows, listening to music, etc. But there have been times when I've felt completely empty. Not feeling like doing anything but sit on mh bed and go through my favourites on tiktok. Maybe play stardew valley. And I understand this feeling so well of just feeling so lost and helpless but also wanting to write something. But honestly believe me, the things you write in these slumps are never from heart. And I think for writing, that's one thr key factors. You're an incredible writer, this is really good too. I've read your posts and I've loved every one of them. But everyone falls into slumps. Don't feel ashamed about that. I think you shouldn't force yourself to write something, instead, do other things. Drink some tea and watch that show your friend recommended 78 times. Rewatch a Disney movie or those movie series (Hunger Games, Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc). Read through your favourite substackers posts, scroll on Pinterest and make a board for yourself, etc etc. I've found that just letting myself relax and not worry about if I'm writing or not, helps me write. Sparks of inspiration are everywhere if you focus. And I think putting a schedule for yourself can really help you and also might not. I never give myseld deadlines because I tend to do sloppy work if I do. But some of my friends do work more efficiently under deadlines, it really just depends on how you work. Either way, Amal, you're a great writer (Mashallah) and no amount of slumps and feeling uninspired can change that. Me and other people don't expect you to give us 7 posts every 3 days and we're happy to wait. Good things take time, and there's no shame in taking your time and letting the ideas come to you. This was amazing as usual, very relatable and well written. I'm wishing you well and I'm SO excited for that interview! It sounds so fun. ♡
Mahi, you know how close to my heart I hold your words… thank you for reading and commenting and leaving me this amazing concoction of advice. The overthinking is a double-edged sword for sure. I think that overthinking had led to a lot of my great ideas but for the most part it’s an exhausting ritual, so I try to balance things. I have been journaling more often, and it is definitely helpful! Creatively relaxing is important for the soul. I have to learn that.
<3 so much love for you,
Wow I resonate so deeply with this!!!!
“Nothing is hooking me, lately, so I’ve gone inwards. I stare at my reflection for hours, I re-read my poetry, I edit my words. It is nothing but a feast of the self. I have nothing else to do. I want to be perfect”
vivid words filled with vulnerability. I’m in awe
Glad you liked it, and thank you for commenting. Us writers are so similar <3
kicked the wind out of me
Oof, thank you so much :’)
so beautiful! you are not alone in these thoughts
Thank you so much <3
You say you feel like you’ve forgotten English but yet you still manage to produce something as richly sophisticated yet skilfully unostentatious (not at all overwrought) as this. You’re so good at this, Amal. Your writing is something for a reader to bury themselves in, collapse in thankfulness. Thank you.